[Allison's alive. She was bad, and Vanya knew she was bad, Allison's white shirt stained dark red in less than a second, and Vanya had wanted to stay, but...
She's not sure she can blame running on Leonard. Not entirely. Maybe if he hadn't come home, maybe she would've called an ambulance or something. Or maybe the other siblings would come rushing in and her brothers would see the damning evidence of what she did.
Vanya, having shifted her bow and violin to one hand, clutches at the fabric of her sweatshirt with the other, unable to hide the fear in her face as Klaus asks what she remembers. Her guilty conscience tells her it's testimony he's looking for. An alibi, an excuse, a motive. Something that a person who could have killed their own sister would have.
The last thing she remembers is gutting her boyfriend and listening to what she thought was the last answering machine message she would ever hear from Allison, curling up in her apartment, and crying on the couch.]
I... It was an accident. I promise it was an accident. We were arguing, and I got mad, and I didn't mean to, it just happened.
[Almost immediately, Vanya is pulling away from him and babbling apologies again in that scared little voice that makes his heart hurt. Lifting both hands, he shakes his head at her, eyes on her face so she can hopefully see that he means what he's about to say.]
Vanya, hey hey hey, come on, Vanya. I know, I know it was an accident. I'm not gonna...
[He pauses, his cheeks puff up with air, and he lets it out in a little huff while he tries to think this through. His mind is going a million miles an hour, and all he wants is a hit of something to take the edge off so he can think, so he can figure out what to say to make everything okay without his heart slamming in his chest and his breath coming too fast. He holds his hands out to her, as if he's reaching for her for a hug or...something.]
Okay. Okay okay okay...look. I get it, you were scared and angry and you fucked up. I get that, believe me. I've fucked up a lot. I'm not...look, if you can work through this with any of us, it's gonna be me, because I get it. Just, let me think for a minute, I think I remember more than you...we can piece things together.
[Vanya hasn't realized it, but her shoulders, her arms have started to shake. Klaus is...
Klaus was one of the easier ones to talk to, once. As they grew older, as the worst kept happening, it just so happened that... they moved in different directions. Vanya isn't sure how or why, just that it did, and she didn't worry too much about it before.
But what she does know of him now, Vanya is pretty sure he's being sincere right now. He sometimes isn't. He mostly isn't. But he is right now.]
Okay. Okay, okay.
[She nods almost imperceptibly, more an extension of the shaking starting to spread than anything more obviously affirmative. The next words she says waver in her voice, her throat almost swallowing them back before they're out.]
[Vanya doesn't notice, but Klaus does, and he sways a little on his feet with his desire to step forward and give her a hug. But he doesn't, he just sways a little and keeps his hands extended, ready for when she might be ready to accept his touch again. Right now, he doesn't want to push her, because she's distraught and he doesn't want to die. And he also suspects that accidentally killing Klaus would probably not be the best thing for Vanya's fragile mental state right now.
When she finally says 'okay' over and over like that, he nods and offers her a tentative smile, exhales softly and takes one careful step toward her.]
That, uh...Leonard, right? I know about that one, we...me and Five and Diego, we went looking for you and we found him, but not you. Christ, we were so worried about you, Vee. Did he try to hurt you, is that what happened?
[When Klaus says his name, Vanya almost jolts, but she keeps herself from starting to cry again. It's an effort, but she manages to keep herself steady.
Big powerful girl, killing people. Isn't this what she always wanted?
Vanya's arms cross over her chest. Did he try to hurt her? She can barely remember how it happened. Maybe he did. But maybe not the way Klaus thinks.]
He knew. He knew the whole time, about me. He was... I don't know. I don't know who he is.
[Klaus can see the reaction Vanya has when he says Leonard's name and he feels a little spike of fear that Leonard...Harold Jenkins...had actually done something to hurt her. So he waits, stands still with his hands extended and looks at her with an expression on his face that's a mix of fear and empathy and worry.
And when Vanya crosses her arms over her chest, looking distressed and upset, Klaus feels another spike of worry - and he's slightly surprised to discover, a spike of protective anger. Then Vanya says that he knew the whole time about her, realizes she's talking about her abilities, that she doesn't know who he is, and Klaus closes his eyes, lifts his hand and rubs it over his face, sighing softly.]
His name is Harold Jenkins. I don't know why he would've done that to you, Vanya, but it sounds like he...manipulated you.
[He thinks about it for a moment - Vanya, vulnerable from feeling worthless her whole life (and he knows how that feels, he knows too well) and someone was there showing interest in her, but knowing all along...]
He deserved what he got.
[It comes out without him meaning to, and he lifts a hand to his mouth, shakes his head.]
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, sorry, I shouldn't have said that Vanya, I just...that's fucked up.
[It does sound like manipulation, but Vanya doesn't really know why, either. As more and more of his true nature came to light, Vanya was just so... confused and scared. He was the only one she felt like she could trust until he wasn't, and she continued to anyway, because what else did she have?
Until she couldn't ignore it anymore. Until he became unforgivable. Until he became another monster under the bed.]
Allison told me that.
[Stupid, stupid, stupid. Allison told her all along.]
He had all of dad's old notes. From when we were kids. And he used them to...
[Vanya is starting to feel sick. This is too much, right now. Too much too soon.]
[Klaus can see that she's distressed, and he feels a stab of guilt, because he thinks it's about his anger. Trying to tamp it down, he takes a few breaths and nods.]
All of us should have listened to Allison. But that happens, we aren't exactly the most functional family...
[His voice takes on that ridiculous edge it gets sometimes, the affected tone when he's trying to make a joke of something, but that's wrong too, so he drops it, and sighs.]
None of us have ever been willing to listen to anyone, ever since we left. So don't beat yourself up over that.
[An exhalation, and he steps forward toward her again, smiles tentatively while his brain scrabbles around for a different topic.]
That's fine Vanya. We don't have to. Um...so guess what? I'm actually three months sober, except for a little bit of weed. Can you believe it?
[Klaus' joking tone is, weirdly, a comfort, in that darkly sarcastic sort of way that makes her emit a breathy scoff of a laugh.]
Sometimes I think Allison's the only one who figured it all out.
[She's got problems, of course, everyone does. Vanya being one of them. But she seems to know how she's dealing with them in a way Vanya maybe never will.
But yeah. That's enough of that. Especially as Klaus continues, changing the subject with a little smile. She doesn't smile back, but she bites at her lip, trying to awkwardly look like she wasn't just seconds from crying again.
And then she raises her eyebrows.]
Three months? You've been here that long?
[At least time travel isn't such an alien concept that she completely doesn't believe him, but she still has to think about it for a moment. But she knew for a fact when she first reunited with him a week ago that he wasn't sober, so...]
That's... That's really good, Klaus. Wait, how much is "a little bit" of weed?
Well, I'm pretty sure Allison's always been the smartest one of us, you know?
[Sure, she has her issues, and she behaved like a dumb kid past the time she could claim to still be a dumb kid, but didn't they all? And who could blame any of them, after the way they'd been raised? Most of them had turned out better than anyone could've expected, really. Except maybe Klaus himself.
Then Vanya is raising her eyebrows at him, and for the first time, one of his siblings looks surprised at a revelation like that because of the time difference and not because he said he was sober. It's stupid, but his eyes go glassy and he nods.]
Yeah. No, wait, no, I was in another place before this for a couple months, called Hadriel, and I've been here just under a month. And I was two days sober at home before I went to Hadriel. It's pretty close to three now.
[Of course, though, there it is. 'How much is a little bit of weed.' His gut drops, but he can't blame her, and so he laughs.]
In Hadriel, a few joints a week when I could get it. I've had two and a half since I got here. Can't give it all up at once or I'd probably just off myself.
[Well, there's no doubting that at least. Not in academics, of course, that would be Five even now (especially now), but... maybe after years of everything in her life being fake, Allison learned a thing or two about how to piece things together to find what's real.
Not like Vanya's spent hours ruminating on Allison and why she does what she does recently or anything.
This is the first she's hearing of a place called Hadriel, though. Klaus has been bouncing locations like this without any of them knowing? Vanya wonders if he missed Five's apocalypse deadline entirely.]
Do you think maybe... instead of the future, Five went somewhere like this?
[That's the first time that's popped into her mind, but. Five did admit he was a little messed up over the years he'd spent alone, or the travel itself, or whatever. He didn't talk to her about it a lot after that, but...]
I guess I've heard that, uh, [and now she feels awkward, because she doesn't have the ease of talking about this subject that Klaus does,] pot is a lot less addictive, too, so. That's good.
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She's not sure she can blame running on Leonard. Not entirely. Maybe if he hadn't come home, maybe she would've called an ambulance or something. Or maybe the other siblings would come rushing in and her brothers would see the damning evidence of what she did.
Vanya, having shifted her bow and violin to one hand, clutches at the fabric of her sweatshirt with the other, unable to hide the fear in her face as Klaus asks what she remembers. Her guilty conscience tells her it's testimony he's looking for. An alibi, an excuse, a motive. Something that a person who could have killed their own sister would have.
The last thing she remembers is gutting her boyfriend and listening to what she thought was the last answering machine message she would ever hear from Allison, curling up in her apartment, and crying on the couch.]
I... It was an accident. I promise it was an accident. We were arguing, and I got mad, and I didn't mean to, it just happened.
[She takes a step back, away from Klaus.]
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Vanya, hey hey hey, come on, Vanya. I know, I know it was an accident. I'm not gonna...
[He pauses, his cheeks puff up with air, and he lets it out in a little huff while he tries to think this through. His mind is going a million miles an hour, and all he wants is a hit of something to take the edge off so he can think, so he can figure out what to say to make everything okay without his heart slamming in his chest and his breath coming too fast. He holds his hands out to her, as if he's reaching for her for a hug or...something.]
Okay. Okay okay okay...look. I get it, you were scared and angry and you fucked up. I get that, believe me. I've fucked up a lot. I'm not...look, if you can work through this with any of us, it's gonna be me, because I get it. Just, let me think for a minute, I think I remember more than you...we can piece things together.
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Klaus was one of the easier ones to talk to, once. As they grew older, as the worst kept happening, it just so happened that... they moved in different directions. Vanya isn't sure how or why, just that it did, and she didn't worry too much about it before.
But what she does know of him now, Vanya is pretty sure he's being sincere right now. He sometimes isn't. He mostly isn't. But he is right now.]
Okay. Okay, okay.
[She nods almost imperceptibly, more an extension of the shaking starting to spread than anything more obviously affirmative. The next words she says waver in her voice, her throat almost swallowing them back before they're out.]
I killed s... Other people. I killed them.
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When she finally says 'okay' over and over like that, he nods and offers her a tentative smile, exhales softly and takes one careful step toward her.]
That, uh...Leonard, right? I know about that one, we...me and Five and Diego, we went looking for you and we found him, but not you. Christ, we were so worried about you, Vee. Did he try to hurt you, is that what happened?
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Big powerful girl, killing people. Isn't this what she always wanted?
Vanya's arms cross over her chest. Did he try to hurt her? She can barely remember how it happened. Maybe he did. But maybe not the way Klaus thinks.]
He knew. He knew the whole time, about me. He was... I don't know. I don't know who he is.
["Was," she doesn't correct herself.]
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And when Vanya crosses her arms over her chest, looking distressed and upset, Klaus feels another spike of worry - and he's slightly surprised to discover, a spike of protective anger. Then Vanya says that he knew the whole time about her, realizes she's talking about her abilities, that she doesn't know who he is, and Klaus closes his eyes, lifts his hand and rubs it over his face, sighing softly.]
His name is Harold Jenkins. I don't know why he would've done that to you, Vanya, but it sounds like he...manipulated you.
[He thinks about it for a moment - Vanya, vulnerable from feeling worthless her whole life (and he knows how that feels, he knows too well) and someone was there showing interest in her, but knowing all along...]
He deserved what he got.
[It comes out without him meaning to, and he lifts a hand to his mouth, shakes his head.]
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, sorry, I shouldn't have said that Vanya, I just...that's fucked up.
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Until she couldn't ignore it anymore. Until he became unforgivable. Until he became another monster under the bed.]
Allison told me that.
[Stupid, stupid, stupid. Allison told her all along.]
He had all of dad's old notes. From when we were kids. And he used them to...
[Vanya is starting to feel sick. This is too much, right now. Too much too soon.]
...I don't want to talk about him anymore.
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All of us should have listened to Allison. But that happens, we aren't exactly the most functional family...
[His voice takes on that ridiculous edge it gets sometimes, the affected tone when he's trying to make a joke of something, but that's wrong too, so he drops it, and sighs.]
None of us have ever been willing to listen to anyone, ever since we left. So don't beat yourself up over that.
[An exhalation, and he steps forward toward her again, smiles tentatively while his brain scrabbles around for a different topic.]
That's fine Vanya. We don't have to. Um...so guess what? I'm actually three months sober, except for a little bit of weed. Can you believe it?
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Sometimes I think Allison's the only one who figured it all out.
[She's got problems, of course, everyone does. Vanya being one of them. But she seems to know how she's dealing with them in a way Vanya maybe never will.
But yeah. That's enough of that. Especially as Klaus continues, changing the subject with a little smile. She doesn't smile back, but she bites at her lip, trying to awkwardly look like she wasn't just seconds from crying again.
And then she raises her eyebrows.]
Three months? You've been here that long?
[At least time travel isn't such an alien concept that she completely doesn't believe him, but she still has to think about it for a moment. But she knew for a fact when she first reunited with him a week ago that he wasn't sober, so...]
That's... That's really good, Klaus. Wait, how much is "a little bit" of weed?
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[Sure, she has her issues, and she behaved like a dumb kid past the time she could claim to still be a dumb kid, but didn't they all? And who could blame any of them, after the way they'd been raised? Most of them had turned out better than anyone could've expected, really. Except maybe Klaus himself.
Then Vanya is raising her eyebrows at him, and for the first time, one of his siblings looks surprised at a revelation like that because of the time difference and not because he said he was sober. It's stupid, but his eyes go glassy and he nods.]
Yeah. No, wait, no, I was in another place before this for a couple months, called Hadriel, and I've been here just under a month. And I was two days sober at home before I went to Hadriel. It's pretty close to three now.
[Of course, though, there it is. 'How much is a little bit of weed.' His gut drops, but he can't blame her, and so he laughs.]
In Hadriel, a few joints a week when I could get it. I've had two and a half since I got here. Can't give it all up at once or I'd probably just off myself.
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Not like Vanya's spent hours ruminating on Allison and why she does what she does recently or anything.
This is the first she's hearing of a place called Hadriel, though. Klaus has been bouncing locations like this without any of them knowing? Vanya wonders if he missed Five's apocalypse deadline entirely.]
Do you think maybe... instead of the future, Five went somewhere like this?
[That's the first time that's popped into her mind, but. Five did admit he was a little messed up over the years he'd spent alone, or the travel itself, or whatever. He didn't talk to her about it a lot after that, but...]
I guess I've heard that, uh, [and now she feels awkward, because she doesn't have the ease of talking about this subject that Klaus does,] pot is a lot less addictive, too, so. That's good.
Can I ask what made you want to stop?